You can create any life you desire. Stop waiting for someone or something to save you, to make you happy or hand over whatever you’re waiting for. You’re responsible for yourself and your life.
In my last relationship my partner told me that he was attracted to me, but he was more attracted to me when I weighed under 108.4lbs. If I wanted to go eat my favorite omakase sushi, I had to weigh in under 108.4lbs for 7 days. (Not 108.5, because that rounds up to 109lbs, and we could only go once every 3 months as a treat.) He was “motivating” me because I didn’t want to be fat anyway… at one point I had an actual medical issue but I was so focused on staying skinny to make him happy that I ignored my own health. Other guys have made fun of me for how much food I eat. Sounds crazy when I think back on it, but how did I even end up in these relationships? I grew up with a mother who was constantly telling me there was something wrong with the way I looked. Before a special event, she said “oh good, you have time to come home to fix your eyes and your chin”. There were a million little things pecking me to death and I was always being told I wasn’t good enough or there was something inherently wrong with me and for the longest time I believed it. I only recently set boundaries to stop allowing that into my life. I’m not a victim, and I’m here to blame; I believe all of us are on a journey and there are lessons we have to learn for our souls to develop, and this was part of mine.
Now if I desire expensive sushi, I take myself out on a date or find a friend to go with me. When I travel for work I find the nicest sushi place in town and I make a reservation for 1! I don’t need anyone’s permission and I don’t need to weigh in on a scale to “deserve” or “earn” it. And if I want to eat @teruzushi 4 times in 3 weeks because it’s my favorite food I do it. I live my own life and I don’t need anyone’s permission to do the things I like to do.
Living my best life in @aloyoga #aloyoga #sponsored
📸: @sfreneenyc
P.S. my advice for today is don’t be in a relationship that pecks you to death slowly over time with words poking holes into your soul
